


Bullseye

by Eathur (kitt3nz)



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Dreamshare Totems, Epistolary, M/M, christmas pudding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28464567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitt3nz/pseuds/Eathur
Summary: A ridiculous architect with a ridiculous totem leads to an epistolary between Arthur and Eames and a short anecdote from the job.
Relationships: Arthur/Eames (Inception)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29
Collections: Secret Saito 2020





	Bullseye

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ayazuri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayazuri/gifts).



> My prompt was pudding. I owe the idea of this fic to lbswasp 100%. I was stuck and they gave me the idea for the fist sized pudding to keep in your pocket. 
> 
> For my Secret Saito recipient, ayazuri! This is literally the second piece of fan fiction I’ve written in my 45 years on earth, and I’ve probably only written under 10 things creatively. I wish it were longer. 
> 
> It's an epistolary because they are easy to write. They are never in the same place except at the end, but even then, I forgot to make it shippy. Oops. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Please feel free to share the photo manips I did far and wide, don't forget to click on the "attachment" links. I find them hilarious. 
> 
> — Kittens

Darling —

What do you think of Delaney so far? I find him charming. Then again, a fellow countryman is always somewhat charming to me. It’s been awhile since I’ve been back home to old blighty that it could simply be nostalgia.

* * *

E

Anyone who uses a totem that unreliable has to be unstable in some way I just haven’t figured out how. As long as his designs hold up, I can’t complain.

* * *

Darling —

I don’t know why you consider Delaney’s totem unreliable, I think it’s perfectly brilliant. It’s portable, he has complete control over its fabrication, and it can’t possibly be duplicated now, can it?

* * *

E

It’s a Christmas pudding. It’s completely impractical. 

* * *

Darling —

It’s from a family recipe, only he knows how long it has been soaked in rum, and only he knows what it tastes like. All those extra goodies that have been added, like nuts and candied fruits. It could be an ever evolving totem. I think that it is absolutely brilliant. One would have to have an extremely lucky guess to be able to duplicate the taste. To get the mix of spices, fruits, and rum just right? One in a million. I only wish I had thought of this myself. Absolutely smashing.

* * *

E

I will give you that it is unique but having to eat in a dream, maybe while you are compromised or tied up, is certainly not ideal. What kind of person thinks of a Christmas pudding as the first thing when they think of an object with permanence anyway. It just smacks of issues. Also, it absolutely ruins the lines of his pants. It looks like he’s carrying a Terry’s chocolate orange in his pocket. Big fan of Christmas puddings I gather?

* * *

Darling —

I think you just don’t like Christmas. And no, I loathe the things. They’re miserable creations.

* * *

E

I’m Jewish. I have no particular feelings one way or another. 

* * *

[no subject]

[[attached file 1]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/29e26a49e05cde1311929edd19ab1ec1/0acc495d94211acb-a0/s1280x1920/95daa4adf8effc5cb9f3606ca20ce0f9636a61e0.jpg)

[[attached file 2]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cb40e9ae8a8f59a4f7301c6c2ac30574/0acc495d94211acb-2d/s1280x1920/8423e9ef01ad474d90bf3548c402df9652a18f8e.jpg)

* * *

E

Don’t you have actual work to be doing? Working on your forge? Following Mrs. Dovenmueller? Where did you dig up that photo from the first job we all did together, anyway? No one had a digital at that point.

* * *

Darling —

Yes, that one is from Mal’s collection. Do you remember the old hasselblad medium format she used to carry around? Dom GAVE me negatives of many of her photos and I scanned them. They’re some of our best memories of us AND her. We were all so happy and carefree. You were so young then. So was I. Shall I send you more vandalized photos?

* * *

E

No. Do you work. For shit’s sake, man.

* * *

Darling —

Here, now, does this make you feel better? Do you remember this party? Mal was there, obviously, and we had that dreadful chemist who is standing next to me. What was his name? I’ve forgotten. I just remember how incompetent he was when we were under. Almost ruined the job. His somnacin mix gave me the spins, too. Never saw him again. Did you have something to do with that?

And look, sweetie, I’ve included a second photo. What’s this? I”ve placed myself in one of those awful modern apartments you like. I am getting ready to go out with you, all dressed up nicely for once. And what’s that over my shoulder? It’s mistletoe! Whatever shall we do with that? How can you dislike Christmas when there’s mistletoe? Especially with me around, yes? Give us a kiss.

[[attached file 1]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cec704971fd696e6f66f99f9f7688535/0acc495d94211acb-e5/s1280x1920/6fa99633ad81735435752bcc44872414dfcd2c19.jpg)

[[attached file 2]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d0930f2bdffde7ea31a13dc0e535390d/0acc495d94211acb-a4/s1280x1920/111e5625785017d3a8bf41943bc6f0e1bdc1522b.jpg)

* * *

E

You’re a reprobate. You’re recalcitrant. You’d better be ready for the job. 

* * *

Darling —

You know I will, gorgeous. You know I will. And I just KNEW you liked Christmas. 

* * *

Not only did Eames’s photos make Arthur smile, which he would never admit to, but that doesn’t matter, Eames knows him anyway — but Arthur did like Christmas just a little bit. He still thought Delaney’s totem was ridiculous. However, during the job they were under and in a tight spot. They needed to knock the mark out but couldn’t shoot him. Thinking fast Arthur grabbed Delaney’s totem out of his pocket, and being the absolute deadeye that he is, hit the mark between the eyes, et voilà. This collapsed the dream for everyone, and instead of waking the mark, it would keep him in shallow sleep long enough to give them time to sneak out of the private dining room they were using as a setup. They already had their info, no harm no foul, right? ...Not quite.

Delaney was furious about Arthur grabbing his totem even though it saved the day. He felt he had to start a new pudding from scratch and that would take him months to soak to get just the right flavor, so he couldn’t work. In the scheme of things, that’s probably a pretty good trade off. Arthur asked him why not choose a different totem and Delaney just stared at him and said, “Who the hell wouldn’t want a little bit of Christmas all year round?”


End file.
